For five years, I used every manipulative tactic in the book to get opens and clicks. Then I had a crisis of conscience—and discovered that ethical email marketing actually works better.
I need to get something off my chest. Something I've been ashamed to admit for years.
I used to be a dirty email marketer.
Not illegal. Not technically. But manipulative. Deceptive. Willing to do whatever it took to get that open, that click, that conversion.
I used subject lines like "RE: Our conversation" when we'd never spoken. I sent "final notice" emails that weren't final at all. I used fake scarcity, fake urgency, fake personalization. I treated my subscribers like marks in a con, not humans with agency.
And here's the worst part: it worked. For a while.
My open rates were through the roof. My click rates were impressive. My clients loved the metrics. I was the email marketing wizard, the guy who could make any list print money.
Then it all fell apart.
It was a Tuesday morning. I was reviewing campaign results for a client when I saw something that made me sick to my stomach.
A reply to one of my emails. Not an angry unsubscribe. Not a spam complaint. Something worse.
It was from a woman named Margaret. She was 67 years old, running a small bakery in Ohio. She'd opened my email because the subject line said "Urgent: Account Issue." She was worried something was wrong with her business account.
Instead, she got a sales pitch for marketing software she didn't need and couldn't afford.
Her reply was simple: "I thought something was wrong with my shop. My heart was racing. This isn't right."
I sat there staring at that email for a long time. I'd sent tens of thousands of emails. I'd never once thought about Margaret. About the anxiety my "urgent" subject lines caused. About the people on the other end of my campaigns.
That day, I decided to change. Not just my tactics. My entire philosophy.
Before I tell you what I do now, let me confess the tricks I used to rely on. Maybe you've seen these. Maybe you've used them. I'm not here to judge—I'm here to show you there's a better way.
Subject: "RE: Quick question"
The manipulation: Making people think this is a continuation of a conversation we never had.
Why it works: Curiosity and confusion get opens.
Why it's wrong: It's a lie. Pure and simple.
Subject: "24 hours left!" (when the offer never expires)
The manipulation: Creating artificial scarcity to force immediate action.
Why it works: FOMO is a powerful motivator.
Why it's wrong: When subscribers learn the "24 hours" resets every day, trust is destroyed.
Subject: "{{first_name}}, I made this for you"
The manipulation: Making mass emails feel like personal messages.
Why it works: Everyone wants to feel special.
Why it's wrong: It's impersonally pretending to be personal. Subscribers see through it instantly.
Subject: "Your download is ready" (click to a sales page)
The manipulation: Promising value, delivering a pitch.
Why it works: Gets clicks by exploiting expectations.
Why it's wrong: It trains subscribers to never trust your links again.
Opening line: "As I mentioned in my last email..." (when there was no last email)
The manipulation: Creating false familiarity and social proof.
Why it works: Makes the sender seem like an existing relationship.
Why it's wrong: It's gaslighting. Making people doubt their own memory.
I used all of these. Often. I told myself it was just marketing. Everyone does it. The ends justify the means.
I was wrong.
After Margaret's email, I went back to first principles. I asked myself: what would email marketing look like if I actually respected the people receiving my messages?
The answer transformed my business. Not just my ethics—my results. Because here's the thing nobody tells you: ethical email marketing actually performs better in the long run.
Here are the principles I now live by:
Principle #1: Radical Transparency
If it's a sales email, the subject line says so. No tricks. No manipulation. Just clear, honest communication about what's inside.
Example: Instead of "RE: Quick question," I use "A thought about your customer onboarding process."
The open rate might be lower initially. But the people who open are actually interested. And they don't feel tricked when they read the content.
Principle #2: Genuine Personalization
Not mail-merge tags. Real personalization based on actual research. If I reference something about you, it's because I actually looked it up. If I don't have anything specific to say, I don't pretend I do.
This used to be impossible at scale. I'd spend hours researching each prospect, which meant I could only send a handful of emails per day.
Then I discovered Suplex.
Suplex's AI does the research for me. It analyzes LinkedIn profiles, company websites, recent news—everything I'd do manually, but in seconds instead of hours. Then it writes genuinely personalized emails that reference real details about each prospect.
Not fake personalization. The real thing, at scale.
Principle #3: Value First, Always
Every email delivers value, even if the recipient never buys. An insight. A resource. A perspective they haven't considered. If someone reads my email and doesn't take the desired action, they should still feel like they gained something.
This is the opposite of the bait-and-switch. Instead of promising value and delivering a pitch, I deliver value and sometimes include a pitch. The value isn't contingent on the action.
Principle #4: True Scarcity Only
If I say an offer expires in 24 hours, it actually expires. If I say there are limited spots, there actually are. No resets. No extensions. No "surprise, we decided to keep it open!"
When subscribers know your urgency is real, it has power. When they know it's fake, you become the brand that cried wolf.
I need to tell you more about Suplex, because it was the tool that made my ethical transformation possible.
Before Suplex, I faced a choice: send a few genuinely personalized emails per day, or send hundreds of generic ones. There was no middle ground. Personalization takes time. Time doesn't scale.
So most marketers choose scale over substance. We use templates and tricks because we can't do real personalization for hundreds of prospects.
Suplex changes the equation. Here's how:
AI-Powered Research
Suplex analyzes each prospect's digital footprint—LinkedIn, company website, news mentions, social media. It finds the conversation starters, the pain points, the trigger events. All in seconds.
Contextual Email Generation
Then it writes emails based on that research. Not templates with merge fields. Unique emails that reference real, specific details. Emails that sound like a human spent 20 minutes crafting them.
LinkedIn Integration
Suplex also handles LinkedIn outreach, coordinating your email and social touches for maximum impact without maximum effort.
Local Data Storage
Here's the ethical cherry on top: Suplex stores your data locally, not in the cloud. Your prospect lists stay on your machine. In an age of data breaches and privacy concerns, this matters.
I won't lie to you. When I first switched to ethical email marketing, my metrics dipped.
My open rates dropped by about 15%. My click rates initially fell too. I panicked. Had I made a terrible mistake?
Then I looked at the metrics that actually matter.
My reply rates went up. My meeting bookings went up. My conversion rates went up. Most importantly, my customer lifetime value went up significantly.
Here's what I realized: the dirty tricks got me more opens, but they got me lower-quality opens. People who felt tricked weren't converting. They were just inflating vanity metrics.
The ethical approach got me fewer opens from people who were actually interested. And interested people convert at much higher rates.
If you're still using the dirty tricks, I get it. The pressure to perform is real. The temptation to take shortcuts is strong. The gurus all teach these tactics, and they seem to work.
But I'm challenging you to try something different. For one month, commit to ethical email marketing:
Use Suplex to make the personalization scalable. See what happens to your real metrics—not vanity opens, but actual conversions and customer value.
I think you'll be surprised. I think you'll discover what I discovered: that respecting your audience isn't just ethical. It's profitable.
Join 2,000+ marketers who've discovered that ethical email marketing works. Try Suplex free for 14 days.
Start Your Ethical Email Journey →No credit card required. No tricks. Just genuine personalization at scale.
If Suplex doesn't help you send better, more ethical emails that generate more qualified conversations, we'll refund your money. No tricks. No fine print. Just our word.
If you're reading this, I want you to know I'm sorry. Your email changed my life. You made me realize that behind every metric is a real person with real feelings. I think about you often. I hope your bakery is thriving.
One more ethical consideration: where your data lives matters. Suplex stores everything locally on your machine. Your prospect lists never touch a third-party server. In an industry full of data breaches and privacy violations, this is one more way to do right by your audience.